Friday, November 25, 2011

The Black Friday Story Cupboard

Have you ever gone shopping on Black Friday? I did. Once. Never again, but there's something about Black Friday that gets the creative juices flowing and the story cupboard filling up.

Well, think about it. You've got massive traffic jams and spend more time on the highway than in the stores. And if you're not in your car, you're in the checkout line. Waiting. Tempers get shorter and shorter, then some guy starts singing, "tis the season..." Oh, yeah, you can go anywhere with that one.

And of course, you've got crowds of people. Body dump in the parking lot, anyone? Trust me, no one will notice, especially if you tuck a few shopping bags around it and leave it in a shopping cart. A good serial killer would have a field day walking through with his little .22 or hunting knife. Heck, try dropping a guy with a machete into that crowd. "fa, la, la, la..."

Then you have the dressing room. Great for shoplifters or a cat fight. Naked bodies or a naked witness running through the store. "now we don our gay apparel..."

Did you see how I worked that Christmas carol in? Well, how about a group of people stuck in an elevator with "Jingle Bells" playing over and over?

And if you're staying home and away from all the madness, check out the new 4-G commercial. Say 4-G four times really fast and you've got "Walking in an orgy wonderland". And yes, my husband and I both thought that's what they were singing. Great jumping off place for a holiday erotica story, don't you think? Then toss in the new wresting match I saw advertised last night called "Thong Thunder" and you're all set for another mad romp.

The best thing about the Black Friday story cupboard? It doesn't cost a thing!

5 comments:

Al Tucher said...

There have been some pretty grim true stories, such as the Walmart greeter who was trampled to death a few years ago.

Oscar Case said...

And the pepper spray lady (woman) who injured twenty people. She turned herself in.

sandra seamans said...

Yes, the fact that people go so crazy for a bargain is mind-boggling. I wish that just one year everyone would stay home and tell the stores to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. If they could have super deals one day, they could have them any day and avoid all the chaos.

Tim Mayer said...

Great Blog! Just added you to my list of Arresting Authors. Also liked your contribution to "Pulp Ink".

sandra seamans said...

Thanks so much, Tim!! And welcome to the Corner.